


Wise and Brah's Excellent Adventure

by Tribunus



Category: Runescape (Video Games)
Genre: Attempted Fortune Telling, Background For Minor NPC, Blind Character, Canon Divergence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Body Horror, Mimic HCs, Shittyfluted
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-04-20 06:19:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14254818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tribunus/pseuds/Tribunus
Summary: Zetahl is a Stormbringer. Supposedly a Wise one.Alongside his hornless and entirely mundane Worldbearer, he wanders the halls of Daemonheim in search of his family - be they old or new.A story in multiple parts (coming Soon™), with musical accompaniment.





	1. Zetahl

My Worldbearer shuffled along beneath me, grumbling to himself as he often did. His hornless head pressed in between my shoulder blades, but the fur positioned between us was enough of a buffer against what would've otherwise been an uncomfortable position. It was like this that we walked the halls, one leg swinging at my leisure, the little flute I held between my fingers exuding [a pleasant, upbeat tune](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nF7lv1gfP1Q) to accompany our travels.

“... Could ya play a different one?”

“Hm?” I paused, leaning my head back until my horns poked against his soft forehead.

“A different song.”

“Why'd you ask?”

“Been playing that one for hours - nay -  _days."_

“Are you sure? I don’t think I have.”

“I am _very. Very sure."_

I shrugged and pulled myself upright again, bringing the instrument back to my lips. He may have been a proper size, from what I could feel, but was as ill-tempered as a cub that was poked and prodded by each of their friends and relations on a daily basis! I had to assume that was why he was a Ramokee.

_“Ye mangy sack of festering crabs, that’s the same fecking tune!”_

“Is it?”

“YES!”

“Well, do you have something _else_ in mind, Brah?”

“I don't _know,_  what about something like a ballad? A nice, _soothing_ ballad. A little love one, like, aye?”

“Oh. Don’t know any, Brah. My bad!”  I went back to playing, but he jostled the pack in protest.

“Don’t _fecking_ start that bird-shrill again, making me want to claw my own festering ears off. Lucky I don’t up-’n leave you in some rubble heap. Refuse to take off that damn metal cover, and you can’t hold a sword to save your hide!”

"You _'_ re lucky that I don’t leave _you!_   It is a great honor to be allowed to carry me!”  He grumbled, but I ignored his childish complaints.  “I am _Wise,_ my favorite hornless, ground-bound Brah. A being of grand magic and-”

“Grand magic, bah! My hairy arse is more impressive.”

“That’s no reason to be hoisting it up on your shoulders!”

_“As if there's room with you up there!"_

"That's hardly my fault!"

"Oh  _please,_  how'd you figure?"

“We're symbiotic, Brah! Here, here, stop here and set me down. Know what’ll cheer you right up - I’ll read your bones.”

“My _what?"_

“Relax, Brah, your _fortune."_

He huffed, sounding skeptical, but did as I said and shouldered me to the floor.  "Pleasure to make ye disembark."

I crossed my legs and sat on the cold floor, gesturing for him to join me. A low  _fwumph_ and the clattering of his pack told me that he did, so I grinned and got to work. 

I tugged the scarf pouch free from its place at my hip and spread it flat, then felt around for the contents. Coins, bones, rocks, feathers, bottle corks, bits of wood, a shard of pottery I'd scraped off a shelf somewhere...

“This it?”

 _“‘This it?’”_ I scoffed back, waving a hand in the direction of his voice.   _“Please!_  We’ll have a round of fun with you and that attitude yet, I can tell ya that Brah. Sit, sit!”

"What'd ye even do with them?"

"Ya gotta look at how they all relate! How they fall, where they fall, how they touch and interconnect, what the pieces  _themselves_ have to say."

"... Mhm."

“Have you got something specific you’ve been wondering, Ramokee? Your heart and soul’s deepest, most _yearning_ questi-”

“Aye, I’ve got one.”

“Oh?”

“Will I be feckin’ rid of ye soon?”

It was my turn to sigh, my mouth pressing flat as I tried to deliver the best bland look I could without the use of my upper face. “Really, Brah?”

“Fine. Fine, fair. Rude of me. Sorry."  I gave him a reassuring gesture. He just made another gruff sound, then carried on.  "How 'bout... Well, how's the future lookin'?"

I pondered the thought, worked it through the crevices of my mind trained in such things - then cast the bone set.

They scattered across the cloth with familiar, well-worn  _thuds._ I studied their pattern to the best of my extent, years of expertise in reading their speech gathering in my mind.

But something was... off.

“Oh.”

“Eh?”

“It seems there’s a bit of a conundrum here.”

“A _what?”_

“A conundrum.”

 _“I heard that ya daft crab, but what specifically?_ If it’s to do with me-”

“No, no, nothing so grisly!”

“What then?”

I smiled sheepishly, tapping where the mask had affixed herself.  “I can’t see the pieces.”

"Ye can't see through it?"

"No! Why would I? She's made of metal."

“Then take that damn thing off!”

“I can’t!”

He huffed into his beard, stomping to his feet.  “You’re fecking _useless,_ Zetahl.”

"No, come back! I'll just need you to help - come be my eyes, Brah!"

"Forget it!"

_"Brah!"_


	2. Smuggler

We walked in silence for a while, the halls shifting and rerouting around us the same as always.

_Passed that same damn glowing-pillar-thing five times now._

Zetahl was humming to himself, blissfully unaware of everything as he played with the puzzle cube we’d cracked off one of the doors. I figured he wasn’t having any luck with it, but at least it was keeping him off his damn flute.

_He’s been at it a while though. Can’t be much longer before he gets bored again._

“Hey.”

“Brah?”

“How’d ye get that thing suctioned on yer face anyways?”

“What?”

“That metal thing.”

“Oh! Do you like her? I’m sure there’s others around the place, if you-”

 _“No!_ Who in their right mind would?”

“It’s not all bad!”  He shifted in place, one of his elbows coming to rest on the top of my head.  “I mean, sure, her sucking up into my skull through my eye holes was uncomfortable at the time, but-”

“Hold on, _WHAT?”_

“Was only some temporary pain, Brah! We get on just fine now, she’s mostly settled in. Thinkin’ she likes my sweet tunes.”

 _“Swear ta-_ Zetahl it hasn’t got _ears.”_

“Vibrations Brah!”

_“Bah.”_

“No, _Wise_ Brah, not Brah.”

“That’s not- I don’t even- Yer not _wise,_ we been over this.”

“I am, and we have!”  he insisted. I thought about protesting further, but let it slide. He wasn’t the type to concede anything.

“Fine. Yer mask?”

“Right, right! So, group of us - friends and myself - setting up to do a spirit wake. Good ol’ classic, y’know how it is.”

I didn’t, but I nodded anyways.

“Except, I’ve never done one successful-like, right? So I say to myself, ‘well I’ll just make it up!’ And then I did.”

“... Make it up?”

“Yep! Figured if I came here physically, they’d go, ‘where’s he gone?’ when they project over, and I’d get to show up, and say, ‘I’m just that much better at this than you are, so my body’s disappeared,’ and then they’d praise my genius.”

“Did they?”

“Nah Brah, they found me and called me a daft idiot.”

I made a wavering sound under my breath. His friends weren’t wrong. He apparently caught the sound, and started wailing that damn flute like he was trying to drown out any notion that I didn’t think that well of him.

I jostled him and the pack.  “Ay, enough of that. How’s the mask play in to all this? Still haven’t gotten there.”

“Oh! So, it’s a couple of us, travelling around.”

“Ye physically and them in that damn spirit form?”

“Right! So there we are, walking around.”

“Like us two right now.”

“Mhm! Exactly, except I’m not perched up on an ol’ Worldbearer.”

“Would be a blessed difference.”

“Hush Brah! Ok, so, we’re walking, and we come across these crates. Crates of supplies, up to above my head high, for that hooligan who’s running around here mucking everything up.”

Something in my chest tensed at the mention of Bil.  “... Aye.”

“And we decide - I decide - we’re going to do something about them. So first off I go rummaging around to see if there’s anything we can take that’s useful.”

“‘Course.”

“‘Course! So, I’m hunting around, and I find some nice things for my pouch.”

“And also this damned mask.”

“And also this mask yes! Afraid she leapt out at me, I must’ve startled her.”

“... Leapt.”

“Yes?”

“Yer sayin’ it’s got _legs.”_

“Of course she does! They’re just inside my face now. It’s alright though, got used to them quick! Just tickles here and there.”

“That’s. One of the worst things ye’ve ever said at me, Zetahl.”

“Nah, Brah! My own fault anyhow, should’ve been more considerate of her nest.”

_“Nest?”_

“What’d ya think mimics sleep in, hives? Ya think they’re like _bees_ Brah?”  He guffawed and slapped my shoulder.

I sighed, and it felt like a bit of my soul tried to come out along the way.

“How’d yer friends take it?”

“Dunno! Think they shouted something or other. Reckon the poison in her feet knocked me senseless for a bit. But, came to, and they seemed to be acting normal.”

“Didn’t say anything about ye suddenly being blind?”

“Oh, they did that! See, I reckon now I’m a bit of a blind mother. And I told ‘em that, and y’know what they did?”

“What?”

“Up and left me in a heap!”

I stopped walking as an exhausting realization hit me.

“The same heap I found ye in?”

“The very same, Brah! Real lucky you happened by when you did, got to be a real bore just laying there.”

“Zetahl.”

“Hm?”

“Wh… Zetahl ye can _float._ Why did you not _move?”_

“Pshaw! Blind mothers aren’t supposed to move about, they're too busy being weighed down with the knowledge of the world! Any teat-sucking cub knows that! Must’ve been real young when you got tossed out, ay Ramokee?”

I went quiet, still weighing how to explain that I didn’t belong to whatever horned, color-dyed race he seemed to think we shared. He took the silence for something else, and quickly tried to backtrack, guilty and apologetic.

“Ay, Brah, I’m sorry. Here, if ya want, I’ll vouch for ya! Can come on home with me once we up’n find it. Getcha all sorted out with us!”

_There’s no way that would end well._

“Y’there Brah?”

“Would love it.”

“There’s the spirit!”

He started to puff out another [upbeat tune](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbN3CMOfNAg), shifting back to his usual reclining position, shoulders pressed against my head.

Something in me broke.

_“Gods, please, make it end!”_

“There ya go, sing along now!”

_“NO!”_


End file.
